After having two babies in 12 months, while still working part-time and being married to a man who works full-time while going to school at night 4 days out of the week you’d think I’d know how to set realistic expectations for myself. Well I don’t. I am constantly slapped in the face with the fact that there are a lot of tasks I cannot accomplish in this season of life. And the funny thing is that just when I think I’ve adjusted my expectations to a reasonable level – smack! I’m hit with the reality that they were once again unrealistic. So I think I’ve broken them down to as simple as they can get: food to eat and clean underwear. If I can accomplish that I’ll feel like I’ve done something. But you know to be honest, some days I don’t even accomplish that. Here’s a thought, maybe instead of measuring accomplishments by my to-do list I need to learn to measure my accomplishments by living each day according to what Jesus says is important for that day. I can have home cooked meals, a spotless house, workout three times a week, read my Bible every morning but be unloving and unavailable to my family. There have been times I found myself responding out of irritation towards them because they’ve gotten in the way of me completing my to-do list. But I’m pretty sure when I stand before the Lord he will not say “well done my faithful servant, you folded clothes and cooked those meals just as I commanded”. Jesus is more concerned with how I treat and serve my family than with whether I completed my to-do list. And most times the best way for me to serve my family is to not look at my to-do list. Although I would love to make homemade bread and delicious organic low calorie meals everyday – it’s not happening! Maybe one day. But not today. I have to take it one day at a time and ask God for wisdom to see what is most important for me to accomplish for each day. Some days I will complete many things I have to do around the house but there are most days when I don’t because I have chosen to pour into my family. For example, I’ve taken the time to listen and pray with my husband if he’s had a rough day, or I sit and cuddle with my son on the couch as we watch Blue’s Clues, and even dance around the kitchen with the music turned all the way up so that my daughter can shake her little head to the beat. All of these choices I’ve made in order to serve my family with hopes that it will count towards eternity. My husband needs my attentive ear after a long difficult day and to hear my prayers for him, and my children need to sense my love, care, and concern for them even at this young age. I simply need to make myself available to them. Because our life is so crazy right now many tasks will not be attended to most of the time and I am slowing becoming ok with that. God did not promise that I would fully complete my to-do list from day to day but He does promise to give me the grace needed to do all that he wants me to do for each day (Heb 13:20:21).
Reflections
- While we are responsible to manage our households well it does not just mean completing a list of household tasks. We have to be lead by the Holy Spirit in relation to the needs of our family for each day. Are you cultivating an attentive ear to the leading of the Holy Spirit or are you too busy crossing of items on your to-do list?
- Ask the Lord for help and for discernment in serving your family for each day. This means you will have to seek him everyday.
- “Christian childrearing is a pastoral pursuit, not an organizational challenge. The more children you have, the more you need to be pastorally minded. Look to each of their souls and their needs” Rachel Jankovic
Seeds 