Martha, Martha…

Martha Martha (or should I say Oh Jalaylia, Jalaylia) you are anxious and troubled about many things but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion which will not be taken away from her. Luke 10:41-42.

My heart has been very anxious these days and I realize that I have been striving in my own strength.  My husband recently took a 25% pay cut and where we were more financially confortable about a year ago we are now most definitely more conscience about our spending habits.  Before we got married we made it a point to only live off of one income that way when we started to have children it wouldn’t be a financial blow when I left working full-time and came home.  But even with all our planning, four years and two little ones later this recent pay cut makes it so I still have to work part-time (which is very hard by the way).  So with our smaller income I took it upon myself to learn new ways to save money.  My friend shared with me this website faithfulprovisions.com and I have found great resources there (make sure you check it out!)  And although I have found new ways to save money the Lord is showing me that I have be depending on me mastering these new techniques (couponing, stockpiling, etc) to provide for my family and not looking to Him.  While serving my family diligently is what my Master desires for me I should not serve them to a point where I’m so exhausted and stressed out that I can’t enjoy my children or husband.  I mean I am a wife and mother full-time and work part-time and then am attempting to master this other job of “money saver,” that has to be the equivalent of like 3 jobs and I am doing it all on my own strength.  All without plugging into the source of all strength, the one who can abundantly provided for my little family of four and leave us with leftovers to spare.  Oh Jalaylia Jalaylia you must chose the good portion.  So I write this with a repentant heart, needing to stop my striving, quiet my heart and sit before the Master’s feet. I am so thankful for Jesus and God’s grace that allows me to humbly come asking for  forgiveness and start anew seeking that which will not be taken away from me.

Reflections

1. What leaves you feeling anxious? (school, work, family?)
2. With the busyness of this world’s day to day tasks have you quieted your heart before the Master today? Will you chose the good portion that will not be taken away?
3. Take some to read Luke 10:38-42 and John 15:4-5

A Glimpse Into the Character of God

I’ve realized that since I’ve had children the Lord has allowed me to get a better glimpse into his character and how he views me. It hit me one day as I was playing with Squishy (aka Micaiah). We were engaging in one of our many games of me chasing him on my hands and knees from the dining room to the sunroom as he would squeal in delight, trying his hardest to get his little legs to pick up in speed. We might of played this about what seemed like 100+ times and each time my heart was filled with overwhelming joy to see my son overwhelmed with joy. It made me happy that he was happy. My heart was deeply connected to the state of his heart. I also noticed that this connection happened when he cried or was sad or scared. When he cries because he’s hurt himself or wakes up in the middle of the night/early morning crying because he’s scared-my heart aches and I want him to no longer hurt, I want him to feel safe and secure because I have come to comfort him. Even when he cries because I or my husband has been disciplined  him my heart aches.  But I know that this pain he feels is needed so that he may not have to experience a greater pain later in life (Prov 13:24; 19:18; 22:6,15; 29:15,17; Eph 6:4; Heb 12:6-11).

So all of these events made me sit back and think of how our heavenly Father feels as he views us. And how infinitely and abundantly more he must feel these emotions. If my sinful heart almost burst with joy because of the joy I see in my son how much more does God’s heart because he is holy, perfect, and without sin? If my heart breaks when my son is hurt or is scared how much more than the Lover of my Soul? And if I desire for my son to feel safe and want to offer comfort at a scary or troubling moment how much more does our God who is not tainted by the sin of selfishness and who loves with an abundant everlasting love? Now just pause…think about that…let it penetrate your heart and mind. Our perfect, holy, and generous God loves us in this way. He loves us with an unselfish abundant love, a love that never fails, a perfect love. I am very thankful. You should be too. Rest in knowing the character of our great God.

Reflections

Meditate on the following scriptures:

• If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! Matthew 7:11 ESV
• But the steadfastlove of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children’s children, Psalm 103:17 ESV
• For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 ESV